August 20, 2006
Who
Does God Allow to Marry Another?
(Part I)
C. Kelly Wilson
The Issue
“…If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself…” 1 Tim. 6:3-5 [my emphasis]
The scriptures warn us that we must consent to the words of inspired writing and the doctrine that is in accordance with godliness. As the sin of divorce has increased, even in the Lord’s church, and ungodly individuals deal treacherously with their mates, some individuals are not willing to consent to wholesome words of the Lord Jesus. Specifically, because people sometimes become the victim of an unlawful divorce, some have sought to dispense with the Lord’s words in order to circumvent the consequences of such divorces.
Consequently, some are arguing that if the one who divorced their mate committed fornication prior to the divorce and the mate that they divorced did not commit fornication, then the mate that was divorced by the fornicating mate is now free to marry another, in spite of the fact that Jesus said, “…and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery…” Luke 16:18
Many who argue for the put-away person’s right to marry another in the above paragraph would agree that the woman in the following illustrations could not marry another:
Bob and
Jane are married. Jane commits fornication. Bob divorces Jane for her
fornication. These individuals will agree that Jane, as the divorced person,
cannot marry another.
Bob and
Jane are married. Neither Bob nor Jane committed fornication. Bob divorces Jane.
These individuals will agree that Jane, as the divorced person, cannot
marry another.
However, in the following illustration, many of these same individuals will argue that the woman who Jesus clearly identifies as the one “…divorced from her husband…” Luke 16:18 can marry another:
Bob and
Jane are married. Bob commits fornication with Sara. Jane is either unaware of
Bob’s affair or will not divorce her husband for whatever reason. Bob divorces
Jane. These same brethren will argue that Jane, as the divorced person,
can remarry.
The rest this article will examine this final scenario. Does God allow some who have been divorced or put-away by their lawfully-bound mate to marry another?
The Scriptures in Question
Below is the total teaching of the Lord Jesus on who can lawfully divorce their mate and who can lawfully marry another before God.
“…The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful
for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’…’And I say to you, whoever
divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…’”
Matt. 19:3, 9
[my
emphasis]
“’…But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual
immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is
divorced commits adultery…’” Matthew 5:32 (NKJV)
[my
emphasis]
“…Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever
marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery…” Luke
16:18 (NKJV)
[my
emphasis]
In the face of such plain teaching, one would not need to seek clarification about who can marry another lawfully before God, provided one will consent to the wholesome words of the Lord Jesus and the doctrine that is in accordance with godliness.
What does the text say?
“…He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him…” John 14:21
“…And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, [even] to the end of the age…’” Matt. 28:18-20
“…Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son…” 2 John 9
These verses and every other verse of scripture concerning God’s authority and His word teach us that if we transgress or pervert His word, we do not love the Heavenly Father and can expect condemnation (II Pet. 2:1-2). The teaching of the Lord Jesus on the subject of whether a divorced person can marry another is the same as any other subject; if we want to be accepted by the Lord, we must “…observe all things…” (Matt. 28:20) the Lord has commanded.
In Matt. 19:3, the Lord Jesus was asked:
“…Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason…?”
In Mark 10:2, a similar question was posed:
“…Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife…?”
Thus, we see that the question posed to the Lord Jesus was whether it was lawful for one to divorce his mate for any reason. The Lord’s answer to their question about whether it was lawful for one to divorce his mate for any reason was, unequivocally, no (Matt. 19:4-6; Mark 10:6-9). Then, after their second question was asked in v.7-8, the Lord gives His divine instructions in v.9:
“…And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…”
Let us examine the conclusions that the Lord’s words will allow in Matt. 19:3-9:
In light
of the original question asked of the Lord Jesus about whether it is lawful to
divorce your mate for any reason, He teaches that it is unlawful for one to
divorce their mate and separate what God had joined together, except they
divorce their mate for one cause: fornication. Whoever divorces their mate for
any other cause transgresses God’s Law (Matt. 19:6, I Cor. 7:10,
Matt. 5:32). Whoever transgresses the Law, commits sin (I Jn. 3:4)
The Lord
teaches that a divorce is a singular action which either one of the married
parties can take, separate from the will or desire of the other party, and once
that action is taken, the marriage is terminated. By the Lord Jesus’ own
singular definition of divorce, whether the divorce is authorized (“…except
for sexual immorality…”),
or unauthorized, the result is still the same: a divorce has terminated the
marriage. When Jesus says “…whoever
divorces his wife…”
this indicates that this individual who divorces his mate can take this action
regardless of whether their mate objects or whether the divorce is lawful before
the Lord or not. The very wording of Matt. 19:9 indicates that a person can
unlawfully divorce their mate, and if they do, they have actually
divorced their mate. If they divorce their mate for a cause other than their
mate’s fornication, they have sinned against their mate and the Lord by
separating what God has joined together, and actual consequences of this
unlawful action are felt both by the individual who unlawfully divorced their
mate and the individual who was divorced unlawfully. For the Lord Jesus
indicates that if either of them marries another, that new marriage will be an
adulterous marriage.
Consider
the following principle taught from scripture:
“…Judge not, that you be not judged. 2For with what judgment you
judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured
back to you. 3And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye,
but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to
your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in
your own eye? 5Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye…”
Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV) [my emphasis]. In the above passage:
o The Lord teaches that in order for us to lawfully judge or correct another in a certain area, we must be guiltless ourselves in that area (Mt. 7:1-5).
o Thus, in order for an individual to be able to divorce their mate, the mate taking the divorce action must be innocent of the sin of fornication and their mate must be guilty of committing fornication.
o The Lord does not authorize an individual to divorce their mate when they themselves are guilty of fornication. For instance, Bob and Jane are married; Bob commits fornication; the Lord will only permit Jane to lawfully divorce her husband. The fact that God will not authorize one to divorce their mate when they are guilty of fornication does not mean that they cannot divorce their mate. Bob could indeed divorce Jane and the scripture indeed would call that a divorce, but Bob would commit sin if he divorces his wife. Only Jane, being innocent of fornication, could divorce Bob and not commit sin.
Jesus
points out the following: one individual takes the divorce action (“…And
I say to you, whoever divorces his wife…” [my emphasis]). The
other individual is the recipient of that action (“…and
whoever marries her who is divorced…” [my emphasis]). In a
divorce, action must be taken to end the marriage; a divorce does
not just occur by happenstance. The Lord Jesus makes it clear that
the action of one divorcing their mate is what ends a marriage,
outside of the death of one of individuals in the marriage.
The
context shows that the phrase “…for sexual
immorality…” identifies the sin committed by the one being
divorced, not the one who takes the divorce action. We could
state the Lord’s instruction this way for clarification:
“…And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except
for [her or his wife’s] sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who
is divorced commits adultery…”
The
exception phrase “…except for sexual immorality…”
modifies only the individual who takes the divorce action (“…whoever
divorces his wife…”), not the individual who is the
recipient of that action.
While
their original mate is alive, the Lord Jesus categorically and unequivocally
prohibits anyone, save the one who unlawfully divorced his mate (I Cor. 7:11),
from marrying the one who is divorced by their mate (“…and
whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…”). As has been
established from Jesus’ words, the exception phrase
“…except for sexual immorality…” applies only to the
one taking the divorce action (“…whoever divorces
his wife, except for [her or his wife’s]
sexual immorality…”). The exception clause
does not apply to the one who has been divorced or put-away by
their mate. The Lord said:
o “…and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…”
NOT
o “…and whoever marries her who is divorced [except for the cause of sexual immorality] commits adultery…”
Consider
the following principle from scripture: “…Or
do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law
has dominion over a man as long as he lives? 2For the woman who has a
husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the
husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3So then
if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an
adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is
no adulteress, though she has married another man…” Romans 7:1-3 (NKJV)
o The above passage in Romans 7:1-3 indicate that the woman is bound by the Law of God to her husband as long as her husband lives. Indicating that there is a God-given obligation separate and apart from the marriage which may remain, even though the parties are no longer married.
o Thus, if she divorces her husband and remarries, she is an adulteress (no exception given in this passage).
o Similarly, the Lord Jesus indicates in Matt. 19:9 that the one who divorces his mate for a cause other than his mate’s fornication and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced by their mate commits adultery, indicating:
· The one who divorces his mate for any cause other than their mate’s fornication separates what God has joined together (Matt. 19:6), transgresses God’s Law (I Jn. 3:4), thus committing sin (Matt. 19:6, 9; I Cor. 7:10, Matt. 5:32).
· The one who divorces his mate for any cause other than their mate’s fornication, though he did divorce his mate, is not released from the bond or divine obligation of God’s Law, as evidenced in Rom. 7:1-4. Consequently, he compounds his sin by committing adultery if he marries another.
· Jesus clearly says that the one who is divorced by their mate, whether the mate who divorced them committed fornication or not, is bound by God’s Law, as the Spirit indicates, “…and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…” The scripture indicates that this divorced person could not marry another without committing fornication.
The
exception clause of Matt. 19:9 (“…except for sexual
immorality…”) modifies the one who takes the divorce action,
indicating that the one who divorces his mate for the cause
of his mate’s fornication:
o Does not commit sin when they divorce their mate, since the Son of God Himself gives this one exception by which one can divorce their mate.
o Does not commit adultery if and when they (the one who takes the divorce action) marries another, indicating that God has released from the bond, or divine obligation, the one, and only the one who has divorced his mate for the cause of his mate’s fornication.
o As already established, the person divorced by their mate remains bound by God’s Law. Whoever marries the person divorced by their mate commits adultery.
o In other words, when we insert the exception clause of Matt. 19:9 into the Lord’s teaching the instruction would read, “…And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife for sexual immorality, and marries another, [does not] commit adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery …” [my emphasis]
Here is the scenario presented earlier in which some individuals argue that the put-away person can marry another:
Bob and Jane are married. Bob commits fornication with Sara. Jane is either unaware of Bob’s affair or will not divorce her husband for whatever reason. Bob divorces Jane.
Here is what the Lord teaches:
The
scriptures teach that In order for one to judge another, he must be innocent of
the sin himself (Matt. 7:1-6; Gal. 6:1). God only authorizes the innocent to
divorce the guilty mate without committing sin. In this scenario, Bob was guilty
of the fornication and divorces his wife. He does wrongfully divorce his
wife and commits sin when he does it (Matt. 19:4-6, 9).
“…And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for
[her or
his wife’s] sexual immorality…” As
already pointed out by the scriptures, the sexual immorality must apply to the
one being divorced (“…for sexual
immorality…”). Jane is the one who is divorced, but the sexual
immorality does not apply to her. The exception phrase must apply to the mate
who is innocent of fornication who divorces his fornicating mate (“…whoever
divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality…”). In this scenario,
the exact opposite of what Jesus taught occurred. The guilty fornicator divorced
the innocent mate.
Because
the Lord’s instructions were violated and Bob, the one guilty of fornication,
sinned by divorcing his wife, the bond is not released, though the divorce has
taken place. Thus, if Bob marries another, he shall be an adulterer (Matt. 19:9;
Rom. 7:1-4).
Jesus
said, “…and whoever marries her who is divorced
commits adultery…” (Matt. 19:9). As the Lord Jesus’ words have
already been established, the one who is the victim of the divorce action (“…her
who is divorced…”) is prohibited from marrying another while her
lawfully-bound mate is still alive because she is still bound by God’s Law. As
the scriptures have already established, the phrase,
“…except for sexual immorality…”, only
applies to the one who divorces their mate, not to the one who is
divorced by their mate. Thus, if Jane marries another, she and her
new husband commit adultery.
Simply put, the one who argues that Jane, the one who was divorced by her husband who committed fornication prior to the divorce, can marry another does so in the teeth of Jesus’ own words. Thus, the only one who can lawfully marry another while their first mate is still alive is the one who divorces their mate for the cause of their mate’s fornication. Whoever marries the one who is divorced, by Jesus’ own words (“…and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery…”), commits adultery.
We must be content with the Lord’s instructions, for the scripture warns, “…Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son…” 2 John 9.